Welcome to the Connection
March 2022 Issue
Letter from the Editor
Greetings fellow Adlerians,
The newsletter took a few extra days to publish as more opportunities were shared to support those in need in Ukraine. Below you will find correspondence between IAIP and our Ukrainian colleagues. Dr. Marina Bluvshtein has also set up a go fund me:
Image from the New York Times article
Dr. Bluvshtein also shared in an email:
“the New York Times has four suggestions of organizations to donate to. They do suggest that you specify you want your donation to go to Ukraine”.
I really appreciate everyone’s efforts in coming up with ways to help our friends, and colleagues in Ukraine as it can feel quite helpless being so far and detached from the situation. I also urge you to search around your community for opportunities to help. For example, here in Tampa there is a Ukrainian restaurant giving away free Borscht for donations. Above all, let’s not underestimate the power of prayer, and space holding for the people of Ukraine.
We did not have too many submissions this month. However, we do have two very interesting interviews focused on love and relationships. Next month’s theme will be “social interest/community feeling”.
Finally, to cast your ballot for this year’s election
Thank you all for reading the newsletter this month, and for all your support. I hope you find this edition useful, and interesting. As always, if you have any suggestions, or feedback please don’t hesitate to reach out to the newsletter team!
Caroline Faifman
Hernalser Hauptstrasse 15/1/2 1170 Vienna, Austria
https://adler-iaip.net/
March 1, 2022
Dear Colleagues!
[Below is] a letter we have received from Zoryana Koshulynska, president of the Ukrainian Association of Individual Psychology (UAIP).
The letter was written under the constant threat of bombardment and missile attack, under the threat of annihilation.
Please take time to read this brief letter and see that the address is in Ukraine, and so Ukraine and Ukrainian people keep fighting for their land and standing strong in supporting each other. The street address on the letter is “Kulparkivska St”. The real street address is Freedom Square, quoting today’s speech by the Ukrainian President before the European Parliament.
Please know that the IAIP Board, the entire organization, and Adlerians around the world continue to stand in support of our Ukrainian colleagues, their families, their neighbors. Please stand with us in condemning the war. Find the ways to be useful – in bringing Adlerian anti-war history and values to all the places you go, in supporting colleagues who will embark on dealing with the psychological horror of the war when it ends, in education for those who need and seek more knowledge, in mutual solidarity.
When we stand together on the most salient issues of today, in many voices and one immortal theory, wisdom will prevail.
IAIP President Marina Bluvshtein, PhD (USA)
Licensed Psychologist, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
NASAP Certified Adlerian Psychotherapist
NASAP Diplomate in Adlerian Psychology
Assistant Professor & Director, Center for Adlerian Practice and Scholarship, Adler University
IAIP Vice President Prof. Dr. Ursula Oberst (Spain)
General Health Psychologist (certified) and Adlerian Psychotherapist
President of Spanish Association of Adlerian Psychology - A.E.P.A
Psychology Professor at Ramon Llull University Barcelona
IAIP Secretary General Dr. Giansecondo Mazzoli (Italy)
Adlerian Psychoanalyst and Supervisor
President of Italian Society of Individual Psychology
IAIP Treasurer Michaela Stacher-Linhart, MA (Austria)
Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Adlerian Psychoanalyst
Board member of the Austrian Society of Individual Psychology
President’s Address
“The love life task is usually described as the most challenging. Intimacy and commitment are not easily achieved in any relationship. All life tasks require courage, but the love life task perhaps requires the most. “
Tim Hartshorne, President
Greetings Adlerians,
Excitement is building for our 70th Annual Conference in Alexandria this May. The program looks amazing, the location feels right, and we are so hopeful to have a wonderful turnout to connect with old friends and new.
The theme of the conference is “What the World Needs Now.” I have a list, and you probably do as well. And I am looking forward to hearing Amna Nawaz’ list. As the chief correspondent for the PBS Newshour, she is in a position to observe and report on many of those needs. Of course, for many of us, the theme takes us to the Burt Bacharach and Hal David song, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.” If you want to hear an amazing rendition of the song, I suggest THIS.
Love and relationship are also the theme for this issue of The Connection. Inevitably we think of the love life task. I usually introduce the life tasks to my students as what are necessary for society to function. If nobody worked, goods and services would not be provided, and we would have to survive on our own labor. If no one was friendly, willing to get along and provide social support, we would turn against one another. If no one was able to forge committed, loving and intimate relationships in the context of a family, the social structure would disintegrate. The love life task is usually described as the most challenging. Intimacy and commitment are not easily achieved in any relationship. All life tasks require courage, but the love life task perhaps requires the most.
So, I hope you enjoy this issue of The Connection, I hope you will think about what the world needs now, and I hope you are registering for the conference.
From the Social Justice Task Force:
As we are watching the news
in mainstream media, we have noticed a tendency to compare one nation’s pain and suffering to another nation’s pain and suffering. Current commentary comparing the invasion of Ukraine with the invasion and conflicts in other parts of the world, especially in Middle East, South America and Africa are inexcusable. Ideas which suggest interventions and/or media coverage is due to “they are blue eyed”, and/or “they are European” are racist and they dehumanize people who are suffering. War, suffering, injustices, and violence SHOULD never be considered as “normal experiences”; there is never an excuse for injustice or crimes against humanity.
We want to encourage advocacy and outcry for all who are oppressed or live in fear. We want all citizens to address all injustices, as well as extending empathy, compassion, and mercy to all people of the world. To our media professionals, politicians, and colleagues, we turn to you to lead the way by facilitating difficult discussions and providing solutions. We invite everyone to extend their empathy, compassion, and philanthropy to all people of the world. As appropriate for you find a way to give based on your time, talents, treasures, and testimony
(read a good article that Dr. Kimberly Martin shared):
Help us find ways to come together, to actively make changes, and do what we can to stop suffering.
Moving forward, our motto is a quote by Alfred Adler:
In Memorium
Mary Jamin Maguire
passed away on February 27, 2022.
She was NASAP President from 1994-98. We will feature more of her accomplishments in the next Connection.
If you would like to contribute something about Mary, please send to nasapnews@gmail.com.
Before she passed we sent this tribute to her, and we will present the Lifetime Achievement Award to her posthumously in May at our conference.
Conference Costs
(AKA: What are they thinking?!)
“Why would I pay $40 for lunch when I can go across the street to a sandwich place and get it cheaper?”
When conference registration opens each year, many of you may wonder how conference costs are determined. It’s common for me to hear things like “Why would I pay $40 for lunch when I can go across the street to a sandwich place and get it cheaper?” Another one I hear often is “Why would I pay that much for a room at the conference hotel when I can book an AirBnB or VRBO place for a lot less?”
Well, here are a few answers to those burning questions! Hotels make lots of money charging for meeting space as well as on food and beverage costs. NASAP thankfully has a negotiator who helps to navigate this process and save us lots of money. This negotiator has been with us for many years and her name is Julie Daniel and she works for Helms Briscoe, a company that helps with meeting management services. Her commission is paid by the hotels we select each year, so she puts in a great deal of time to bring us the best options that fit our budget and usual requirements.
One of the main things Julie negotiates for us is to have meeting space costs waived in exchange for agreeing to meet the food and beverage minimum and having a certain number of hotel rooms occupied each night (also called room nights). Our Annual Conference uses a lot of hotel space (think about it – 8 break out rooms running at once, plus a ballroom for meals and plenary sessions and other large group events, across 4 days including a weekend).
So, the reason why your lunch costs $40 (and sometimes more) is because the hotel makes up some of its lost revenue through the food and beverage prices. I can assure you that when choosing meals for the conference, the cheapest and still decent option is picked every time. In some cases, the “boxed lunch” people argue for us to choose costs the same as a hot buffet or plated lunch.
“an AirBnB may be cheaper, but it hurts NASAP’s ability to meet the minimum room nights if people decide to stay elsewhere.”
When you decide to purchase a meal package for the conference, you’re helping NASAP out with meeting this food and beverage minimum. IF we don’t meet the food and beverage minimum, we must also pay for meeting space in addition to the food and beverage being consumed. Consider it a form of social interest to purchase the lunch packages.
Another component of the negotiation process is the number of room nights our attendees will occupy. NASAP agrees to fill a certain quota of rooms per night over the course of the conference weekend. By achieving that number of room nights and meeting the food and beverage minimum, our meeting space costs are waived. Therefore,
Some years, the hotel costs are a bit less and other years they are a bit more. NASAP’s Board of Directors strives to choose conference hotels and locations that are in line with previous years. We give a great deal of credit to Julie Daniel for doing the initial searching for us and to present only the hotels with the right amount of meeting space, a reasonable food and beverage minimum, and a fair hotel room night cost.
If you’d like to be involved in conference planning to learn more about and contribute to the process, we are glad to have the help. Send me an email to let me know of your interest.
Jerry Hiller Interview
To connect with Jerry, and find out more about his workshops, presentations, and other offerings you may contact him at gmhiller2@gmail.com
Interview with Tim Evans and Geri Carter + Information on Marital Meetings!
Timothy D Evans, PH.D, LMFT & Geri Carter, M.A., LMHC
Timothy D Evans, PH.D, LMFT & Geri Carter, M.A., LMHC
Learn more about Tim & Geri’s practice
Get in touch:
Tim: tim@evanstherapy.com
Geri: geri@cartertherapy.com
Many couples have used couple councils and have reaped the benefits of getting more things accomplished and enjoying their relationship more. They have found that bills were getting paid on time, meals were more organized, fun dates were more common and jobs were equally distributed. Also, there was less nagging, less bickering and fewer breakdowns in communication. While couples frequently discuss things, they find with couple councils they can confront difficult decisions and concerns more directly.
Couple Councils help to:
Eliminate nagging.
Involve both people in decision-making.
Encourage continued involvement in the relationship.
Encourage discussion and possible reassessment of roles in home and work.
Foster mutual responsibility and respect.
Eliminate grudge holding.
Minimize the number of crisis situations.
Promote organization and planning.
Minimize misunderstandings.
Keep lines of communication open.
You might find yourself thinking: “We talk together—why make it rigid and pre planned?
Couples have found that the organized, regular meting tends to open the communication rather than box it in. When you know the other person’s feelings it frees you from guessing, assuming, and holding expectations that haven’t been communicated. You won’t pussy-foot around wondering what he/she will be doing, saying, feeling, or whether your decision to spend Tuesday evening away from home will be accepted, cause havoc, or go unnoticed.
A couple council is a way to maintain genuine concern for each other without meddling or anxiousness on the part of either partner.
For those who might be interested in trying a couple council, here are a few guidelines:
1. Keep the meeting brief. It may help to set a time limit.
2. Keep a notebook in a central location. Compile an agenda during the week by writing down problems and ideas as they occur.
3. Keep minutes in the notebook concerning decisions made at the council. (By accumulating the notebook material you will be able to see your growth in working together over the weeks and months.) Alternate each week who keeps the minutes and records the decisions. The writer can read each recorded decisions to the other, or you can consult during writing it, so you are in agreement on the decision.
4. Find a regular meeting time during the week when you can both be uninterrupted.
5. If you are just starting out it’s a good idea to devote the first meeting to planning an enjoyable date or project rather than tackling the problems.
6. Each person has the right to veto suggestions he/she is unwilling to go along with.
The point is to find ideas and solutions each can agree to.
7. Keep the notebook in a mutually convenient place so each person can have access to it during the week.
The couple council is not a “gripe” session, but a resource for keeping communication open, sharing feelings, solving problems, decision making, and planning. Try to see and understand each other’s point of view. Be willing to follow through on agreements.
At each meeting after the first one:
1. Read the minutes from the last meeting.
2. Discuss how agreements worked.
3. Bring up new business.
4. Summarize and clarify new agreements reached.
Adlerian Spotlight:
Audra Mets, MS, LMHC
1) Where do you practice and what is the demographic you work with primarily?
I live in southeastern Florida and and work out of the Fort Lauderdale area. My private practice, Adaptive Connection Consultants, went fully virtual during the pandemic and we continue to do well virtually. I primarily work with the LGBTQIA+ community.
2) When you interned and were employed at SunServe working with the LGBTQIA+ community, what were the most common issues these clients faced?
I would say that many clients experienced isolation and feelings of inferiority (internalized homophobia or transphobia), and as a result anxiety and depression. I worked with adults and adolescents, and a significant part of my role included family work. For a youth growing up in a heteronormative, cisgender family, questioning their sexual orientation and/or gender identity in that social context could leave them feeling alone and like no one could or would understand them. Add in influences of culture and ethnicity, religion, and politics, and such questions of identity can become increasingly more complicated.
3) How do you approach relationship counseling from the Adlerian perspective?
A significant concept my experience at SunServe instilled in me is having a strong sense of community. My work included not only individual and family therapy, but running groups for adolescents and parents of children identifying as gender non-conforming. This stimulated social interest and created an environment where marginalized individuals could support one another. To see relationships blossom in these contexts was beautiful, and in helping others they experienced increased self-confidence and self-esteem. I learned to take a holistic approach, to really assess all aspects of a person’s life because one’s identity naturally extends into all social contexts. For both families and individuals, being different from the cultural majority can have significant impact to emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing. As a therapist you have consider the impact of all these factors in how one maintains relationships with the self as well as others.
4) You’ve attended two ICASSIs in the past, do you plan to attend more? Will we see you at any NASAP conferences?
I absolutely plan to attend future ICASSI conferences! I’ve maintained a few friendly connections with individuals from the US as well as other countries and it would be lovely to reconnect with them in person, especially after the last few years. I would love to attend my first NASAP, possibly after I finish my Ph.D. because I’ll have MUCH more free time.
Degrees and Licenses:
BS in Psychology, Minor in Cognitive Science
MS in Applied Psychology with Counseling Specialization
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
In Progress: Ph.D. in Couple and Family Therapy
Private Practice: www.adaptiveconnectionconsultants.com
Linda Jessup, Founder of PEP
Washingtonian Awards Luncheon
The Parent Encouragement's founder and long-time NASAP supporter, Linda Jessup, was recently named a 2021 Washingtonian of the Year by Washingtonian magazine. Yesterday was the Washingtonian luncheon where she and the other honorees received their awards.
Here are her inspiring remarks when she accepted the award:
The Parent Encouragement Program was born 40 years ago out of desperation. I was a harried mother with a traveling husband and four spirited children. Our family was a bubbling casserole of sibling rivalry, undue attention-getting and power struggles, seasoned with a dash of attention deficit disorder. The available parenting models were either too authoritarian or too permissive. Neither made for a better recipe.
Then I learned about the parenting philosophy of Alfred Adler and Rudolph Dreikurs. They claimed that families could become cooperative teams. Each member valued for his or her contribution. Kids presented with choices instead of threats or demands. Natural consequences instead of punishment. Encouragement instead of praise. Family council meetings to organize activities, family fun and household chores. Acknowledgement and respect for each person’s contribution to the whole. In short, a democracy-based model of parenting.
These powerful ideas made such a difference for our family that I wanted to share them with others. That’s how PEP was born. I’m so thankful for the parents, some of whom are sitting here with me today, who put their time and energy and money into creating and sustaining the PEP organization. I’m grateful to my children, represented here today by our son, Luke, for reminding and teaching me that parenting is a two-way street. And finally, I’m grateful for the current leaders of PEP who have shepherded the organization through the pandemic and added virtual learning technology to bring encouragement to an ever growing number of eager parents.
Parent Encouragement Program (PEP)
The Parent Encouragement Program’s mission
is to build strong, harmonious family relationships
through parenting education, skills training and support.
We help adults foster the values of mutual respect,
shared responsibility, competence and cooperation in young people,
preparing them to make positive contributions to their families,
their communities, and the world at large.
PEP’s Purpose
We’re a one-of-a-kind nonprofit organization dedicated to helping parents and caregivers build strong and harmonious family relationships so that children grow up in a supportive environment fostering the critical values of respect, cooperation, responsibility, and competence. We know that an encouraging home environment is strongly connected to positive mental health and wellness in children, teens, and adults.
PEP’s Clients
Our clients include any adult caring for a child! PEP has reached over 65,000 parents and caregivers through our direct programming and via partnerships with companies, schools, health care providers, nonprofit organizations, and businesses. Based in the Washington, DC area, PEP serves clients throughout the U.S. and globally.
PEP’s Programs
Our programs, offered online and in-person, give parents of toddlers to teens the knowledge to understand the underlying causes of their children’s behavior, and the practical skills and tools they need to address problems right away. PEP programs are offered in English and Spanish and include videos-on-demand, webinars, virtual and in-person classes, and individual support.
PEP’s Approach
PEP’s approach is founded on the time-tested theories and work of Dr. Alfred Adler and Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs. We offer an empowering approach, providing effective skills and tools for raising children that are applicable to all phases of parenting, in all kinds of environments. Our award-winning curriculum is flexible, convenient, relevant, and engaging. Participants can be confident that what they’re learning isn’t just a “fad,” but is research-based and taught by highly trained, fellow parents who understand what parenting can be like today.
PEP’s Highlights:
PEP offers online and in-person classes and workshops on over 65 topics related to effective parenting & child development.
PEP offers programs for parents with children from pre-K to the teen years, providing support to parents throughout the parenting journey.
PEP’s curriculum is evidence-based and time-tested, with consistently high evaluations regarding participant satisfaction and behavior change.
PEP offers relatable peer-based instruction by a diverse corps of PEP certified parent educators.
PEP received the Telly Award in 2019 for its two online master classes on ‘encouragement’ and ‘redefining discipline.’
PEP offers programs in English and Spanish, culturally adapted for Latino families
PEP produced the book Parenting with Courage and Uncommon Sense, by PEP Founder Linda E. Jessup and PEP Parent Educator Emory Luce Baldwin
PEP received the Gold Award in 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 and 2021 from the Parenting Media Association for its monthly parenting column in Washington Parent Magazine
PEP is frequently called on as parent experts for the media and other organizations including The Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Fox News DC, Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood and Safe Kids Worldwide.
For more information about PEP, please join us at https://pepparent.org/
News & Updates
Adlerian & Integrated Professionals!
SAVE THE DATE: AP/IP Cocktail Hour, Mixer, & Screening
Thursday, March 17th (St. Patrick's Day!), 7 pm Central, by Zoom
Adlerian Professionals and Integrated Professionals (AP/IP) will be hosting a virtual cocktail hour and mixer for NASAP General Membership on March 17th at 7pm. This will be a chance to connect, wtih AP/IP Section Leaders share some exciting developments on new joint endeavors of the sections.
2 Minute Adlerian
At the mixer, we will also be screening a pilot version of our upcoming social media series, the 2 Minute Adlerian. This 2 Minute video will feature Jennifer and Dan Williamson presenting on the concept of Purpose and how it relates to happiness.
We will also be enlisting member involvement in initiatives of BOTH sections, and soliciting presenting experts for future 2 Minute Adlerian videos. We look forward to virtually seeing everyone!
AP/IP Section Leaders: Ben, Robert, Amy, & Shelby
JIP Readership Survey
Hi Good People,
The NASAP Theory Development and Publication Committee is launching a JIP survey!
NASAP Theory Development and Publication Committee is inviting all the readers of the Journal of Individual Psychology (both past and present) to complete a JIP Readership Survey. We would love to hear from you and will share the results of the survey with the Board, the JIP Editors, and as a poster at the NASAP conference.
The Committee:
Marina Bluvshtein
Candace Sneed
Dale Wayman
Sarah Triolo
Kimberly Martin
Courtney Evans
Corey Frantz
Upcoming Events
2022 Annual NASAP Conference is coming up!
Registration is open, scholarships applications are coming due, and we still need Poster Presentations proposals and Sponsorships. Check out the NASAP website for more info!
NASAP Announcements:
Discounts!
ALLMEMBERS is the promo code for current NASAP members to get free shipping from the NASAP Teespring store.
NEWMEMBER is the promo code for brand new members and the discount is 10%. This is a one-time use code.
-Susan Belangee
A Call for Taptalk Presenters:
If you would like to propose a TAP Talk, we would love to hear your ideas. Please complete this form:
TAP Talks are presented several times each year as a way of keeping in contact with NASAP members and also a way of providing some continuing education hours to members of NASAP and the public at a reasonable price.
TAP Talks are hosted by the Theory, Research and Teaching Section of NASAP and the presenters are selected by the Sections of NASAP. Topics change each month. They are usually one hour.
If you have any questions, please reach out to us.
Kind regards,
Drs. Jennifer & Daniel Williamson
TRT Chairs
nasaptrt@gmail.com
CE Offerings
Offerings include two articles from the most recent JIP:
DeVoss, J., & Wadsley, M. The applicability of the crucial Cs across relational models in developmental trauma. Journal of Individual Psychology, 77 (2), 165-178.
John, K., Austin, Z., Benford, J., Clark, K., Hewitt, E., Parker, C., & Tait, C. (2021). Understanding basic psychological needs across the lifespan: The role of the crucial C’s. Journal of Individual Psychology, 77 (2). 130-144.
As a reminder, here is how to access the CE offerings: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17iqcVsN5zhyhXIIwZeShSyOxUwoJHIXylp8qk4PNQKg/edit?usp=sharing
-Rocky Garrison
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